Thursday, December 19, 2013

All Ages Show

Go ahead and answer your space ship
You said,
My phone startling us both.
I had been ineffectively
Dabbing at the seeping gash
In your scalp with napkins.
You,
Having obviously
Enjoyed my music enough
To bleed appreciatively,
Looked around the tired
Bowling alley venue
As if seeing it
For the first time.

"Love it," you smiled.

The Song

The song turns,
rotating behind glass

a frequency ellipse,
micro-waved to the ear.

The song sings itself,
a puffed up narcissist

and presses hoping
against your disdain.

The song is a college try,
something to be eaten quickly

a glazed fancy,
its desperation made tactile.

The song is a collective,
generational howling

and you'll sing it
whether you want to or not.


Harperbury Mental Hospital, St. Alban's, UK

                It's so quiet that sometimes you forget who you are.
             

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

The Fur Coats "Goddamn I'm a Handsome Man!" video, featuring some of my art.

Thursday, November 28, 2013

JEALOUS

i go through my day jealous. jealous of time, jealous of your looks, your body, your thoughts, your flawless elbows.  i am jealous of everyone and everything. i am jealous of buildings, beloved structures where hundreds of people have lived and died, and jealous of babies, when they cry and when they’re silent. i am jealous of adjectives, verbs i never employ, and words that i haven’t yet heard. i am jealous of your artlessness, of the way your shoes are worn just so, the way your hair falls effortlessly, the way your clothes fit so perfectly. i am jealous of dogs licking other people’s faces. i am jealous, jealous of the way the wind blows around corners and seems to speak, but never to me. i am jealous that no two snowflakes are exactly alike, and i am jealous when the sun touches other people’s faces. but ultimately, i am jealous because the world isn’t completely and helplessly jealous of me--my artlessness, my body, my thoughts, my achievements, my perfect elbows.

i speak it as a purgative jealousjealousjealous,
i speak it as a mantra jealousjealousjealous,
i weave it into a spell jealousjealousjealous,
but it ensnares only me
it is only me

and i am jealous of it.
                     ///////////Reykjavik, Iceland////////////////////////////
>>>>>>>>>>>>???>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Reykjavik, Iceland
Reykjavik, Iceland>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Monday, September 30, 2013

Slerch Birds and the Oranix and the Zapatistas



Slerch Birds and the Oranix and the Zapatistas
By Marc D. Ruvolo
and
Subcomandante Insurgente Marcos

     Bezel says that life is like a Slerch bird.
     He also says that there are those who eat Slerch birds immature, those who eat them dead, and those who eat them in flight.
     Bezel says that there are some, very few, who can choose how they eat a Slerch bird: either on a blinding festival day, awash in downy spines and bone shard beads, or baked in a clay pot with spicy custard or on the wing or in a ditch or in one of those odious (to Bezel) free 
Slerch nutrient drinks we men pass out to the indigenous peoples.
     Bezel says that the indigenous people feel obligated to eat dead Slerch birds and that the consumption of immature birds is imposed upon the young and that small children are promised a soaring, beautiful bird made of light when in reality it's already been poisoned with squirming grubs of deceit. He says that the female Oranix are told they will be given a share of the plumpest, finest birds but only receive a single moldering feather.
     Bezel says that life is like a Slerch bird.
     He also says that when an Oranix is faced with a sky-blackening flock of Slerch, he stands straight, vigilant, his hereditary blade ready, and with a skillful slice, he cuts a single perfect bird from the roiling mass.
     Bezel says that this Oranix never intends to eat the bird, nor is he interested in whether the Slerch is immature, dead, or in the blessed and sublime state of eternal flight.
     Bezel says that while the wet, pulsing cilia of the Slerch bird is exposed, the Oranix, with great care, removes the egg sacs, and then gently places them in its own leathery pouch. Next, says Bezel, the Oranix warms and kneads the fragile, tiny egg sacs, bathing them with salty brine, and guards their growth.
     Bezel says that the Oranix will not live to see its covey of Slerch birds fly, much less blot out the faces of newly risen and weeping harvest moons. This he knows.
     Bezel says that that particular Oranix nurtured the eggs so that one day, when he is not here, just about anyone could look to their portion of the rearing sky and feel free to cut out and consume their own Slerch bird, either on a gleaming festival day, awash in downy spines and bone shard beads, or baked in a clay pot with spicy custard or on the wing or in a ditch or with one of those odious (to Bezel) free Slerch nutrient drinks we men pass out to the indigenous peoples.
     Bezel says that this is the difference between the Oranix and Humanity: where we see just a bird, the Oranix see an egg, and themselves inside it, and then selflessly offer up the gift of their leathery pouches to guard it. 
    This he knows.
    Outside of that, says Bezel, we Oranix could be your distant cousins. If anything, though, we're just brighter, friendlier, and, he adds slyly, I believe we laugh more.
     After I remove my bulky respirator, I set the dull gunmetal crate that I have carried for so long on the rough, central table of Bezel's hut. I'm careful to place it on his good side, where he can see it, as one of his ocular stalks was recently damaged while protesting the lack of Slerch for the common Oranix. Embossed on the crate's face is the likeness of Emiliano Zapata, our greatest and most beloved saint. The seals of the box hiss loudly as I open them one by one. 
     Bezel leans close, looking inside. What is it, friend Durito? he says, a tinge of wonder in his odd voice.
     It's called an apple, I say, friend Bezel.
     Ah, says Bezel, yes.
     Removing the apple from its crate, I polish it gently against my coat.
     Let me tell you a story, I say.
#####


>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>El Paso, TX.
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<El Paso, TX.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>El Paso, TX.

Sunday, June 9, 2013


The Favor


I've come to you for a favor.

I'm hesitant to ask, but have no other options.
I search your face for a mood, some hint of possible outcome,
But your expression is blank, neither welcoming nor rejecting
Questions.
I wonder if my favor will change the course of my life,
Or if it will affect yours.
I've chosen each word carefully, the intonation and phrasing,
The delivery and dramatic pauses,
I've practiced, but fear that I will stumble when the moment
Finally arrives.
One by one I examine the reasons why you should grant my favor,
Building up a case of affirmation, bullet points for the yes.
I wonder briefly why certain people can ask with no reservation,
Ask repeatedly, without shame,
As though sheer volume will eventually carry the day,
While others almost never ask,
Content to struggle and succeed, or fail, via their own devices.
But is this not a device as well?
How strange this dependence, this return to childhood
Embodied in words spoken or unspoken,
In proposals acted upon, or discarded as untenable,
Or intolerable.
Does my reluctance to ask lie in my fear of rejection, or the fear
Of others having some innate power over me?
I know that I do fear becoming angry if you say no.
I even subconsciously practice this anger--this hurt--and my
Reaction, and its quick dissipation,
Re-living it again and again like a tongue on a sore tooth.
Perhaps if I'm eloquent enough in my anger it will change your
Answer.
Then I think, just for a moment,  that maybe I don't want you to 
Grant my favor.
Maybe I'll feel too indebted to you, and the guilt will saddle me
With regret for even asking.
Do the words make up the favor?
Or do the people?

I've come to you for a favor.